drocka_111

broken promises and ended up being an ok day

Mon, 16 May 2005 01:46:44 GMT

today was well it started off really shitty but ended in a good one... firstly my gf im kinda mad at cuz she broke a promise to me... she promised me that she would be with me on a day that i grieve the hardest of the year it is the 3 years aniversary of my best friend passin away and the 2 year aniversary of my grandmother passin away and well when i called her today shes all like im too hung over from yesterday and i was like thanks for breakin a promise in my life thats something you don't do to me cuz your promise is your word to me and well she did it... secondly which is the reason y my day got alot better is because i actually left my house and went to ontario place and had an amazing time wit my friend chris simpson and well we had a few laughs and chilled out... i played nfl blitz in the arcade against a guy that i didn't know he actually beat me 22-8 in a 2 quater game its the first loss in a long time...thirdly that was one fun maze it took us 20 mins and 45 seconds but that was cuz we took a cigarette break part way through and that was great cuz after the smoke we went back in and finished the maze and walked around a lil bit and took the shuttle bus to union and then the young subway to bloor and then the kennedy subway home then the 54a to centennial thus leadin me home to toronto and here i am typing this journal entry which i am tryin to do every day of the week good times had by all eh? yep id say so i hope you enjoy this entry as i enjoy writin it to you my undevoted fans of this crazy fucked up world... this is not for the weak of heart just to warn you cuz im still kinda upset with the world as i feel i was mistreated and this is not my fault to use a quote from gene snitsky who is an amazing wrestler and this is the end have a good day there will be more on the story later and remember fans let god speak... for he is the one who created me and i love him for who he is and what he has done in my life.

happiness and bitterness

Sun, 15 May 2005 04:10:40 GMT

the happiness was yesterday i went down to auroura and had a lot of fun i went to see tiffany... i went to her group thing it was cool i got to meet some interesting people (i even met her ex bf now im not one to judge people but what a weirdo i finally met someone weirder then me lol but he was cool to tell you the truth he asked me if he could hug her which i never expected i was like dude what harm can be done in a hug? tiff thought i was kinda jealous but really i didn't care after that we went to a karokee bar and i sang basketcase what a lovely song by green day (download its worth hearing people)... i was about to go sing my next song when all of a sudden tiffs fingers went numb and she had to go to the hospital i asked her if she wanted me to come she was like you go home my friends from here are takin me... i was like ok and kissd her goodbye... today she went to her grandmas funeral and i know how thats it cuz tomorrow will be a hard day for me as my best friend past away 3 years ago and my grandma passed away 2 years ago... the love i still have for juliette can be summed up wit the girl wit the most beautiful voice in the world and i will always remember when she used to sing jewel to me while play it on her guitar and many others as she was the one that got me into church after that it was weird i couldn't really step back into my old church she was always there and even though shes gone i know shes still there for me even in death (i saw her ghost at the top of my stairs one day with my ex gf) it was good to see shes ok... heres where the bitterness come into play tiff never called me and we are supposed to go to ontario place so i can hook my friend chris and her friend up well i don't know if they are coming any more... we planned this for like 3 weeks now so she better or im goin to be mighty mad at tiff cus she was still into goin tomorrow yesterday but like i said no call to tell me she was ok no nothing thats so vexing you don't understand i guess her fingers ok but i just want that phone call to tell me shes ok :( any who im goin to need people tomorrow please say a prayer for me...
i love you guys you are the best friends a depressed soul can ask for thanks for always being there for me and let god speak through you into me as i miss you all
piece out for the night world

my convo wit nichole

Wed, 11 May 2005 19:48:35 GMT

there was this real yummy girl named nichole that i met at rumours a while back wit my ex gf and well i told her presisly how i felt bout her well used to feel bout her just cuz i always thought she wanted me to my surprise she didn't want me at all im glad though cuz once again i still got tiff... Nichole flipped out at me when i told the truth about how i used to feel bout her cuz i did date her best friend and even her best friend amanda knew how i felt but im glad she didn't tell i hope me and nichole can remain good friends after it but we did get into a fight and aren't on talkin terms as we speak but time will tell... but i feel really bad for if i screwed up a good friendship cuz a friendship is better then anything in the world to me she told me she liked a guy named gus who is her best friends brother and i hope she gets him one day cuz shes really cool... i went to a karokee bar last night alone as usual but hey i had fun a lot of fun actually i learned that i can't sing pop music for the life of me and now am stickin to rock for life i love my rock voice i wish i could marry it lol im so funny i make myself laugh... Now on to today is wed may 11 th happy birthday matt!!! your finally legal and i have a new drinkin buddy yaaaaaaa 3 cheers for that so anywho what have i done all day today i cut the back lawn went for a run, and worked out at home im goin to keep on workin out cuz i wanna get back into shape im also tryin to quit smoking ive had only1 today so far and that was at like 12 pm so im doin great im kinda nickin but im goin to see if i can last till 6 pm if not later and if i can who knows i may actually quit after this pack and i think that will be good for me wish me luck everyone i have quit smokin weed for sure now and im never goin to touch that stuff again and i mean never cuz i shouldn't have started in the first place... the only reason y i did was i fell into the wrong crowd and then started the trouble cus i spent too much money on it and have nothin to show for it i prob would have had my license and a car and paid for insurance if i didn't start smokin weed... the reason y i quit smokin is cuz i felt like i was goin to have a heart attack the last time i smoked and i wanna live till i have grandchildren at least so live life to the fullest and sacrifice your brain don't smoke weed it will make you go insane and god is alway king i bow to him indeed and finish this entry off wit an amen seeenn!!!!!!!

word of life

Tue, 10 May 2005 18:06:25 GMT

What is love? it usually means my babys goin to hurt me ...it has been a question that i have no idea what it means ive heard it so many time that it confuses me to the point where i get hurt and also manipulated to the point where when i hear the word i want to run away i tell you and run as far and as fast as i can but its weird my girl tiff has said it to me and i haven't ran away yet could it mean that im falling for her or could it mean that im bound to get hurt again time will tell... its only been 2 weeks but i do care bout her but if i get hurt im done ill die single and happy cuz i still rule and no girl can change me and thats true

my first entry

Mon, 09 May 2005 20:41:33 GMT

well this is my first entry my psycologist told me i needed to get my thoughts down on paper so that is what im doin this for everyday once a day for the rest of my life there will be a new entry located in this thing. todays entry is goin to be about a beautiful girl that i care for and its weird shes always on my mind wheather its 8 am or 4 am it don't matter her name is tiffany i met her last year at canadian idol and then this year something happened she actually kissed my and no girls ever just walked up and kissed me wit out me makin the first move also this is my former neighbours cousin and i always said that i would marry into his family and well im kinda scared these emotions that im showin for her seem so right but well she tells me all these guy hit on her should i be jealous or not? ive never been a jealous guy but i just think i trust girls 2 much and thats when i get hurt and if i get hurt again im stayin single for ever....